Blog Entries

The Disney Divorce

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:00:00 +0100

The term “Disney Divorce” is often used to describe a post-divorce family situation in which one parent, usually Dad, isn’t involved in day-to-day parenting but shows up on infrequent occasion to do something spectacular with the kids, like visit Disneyland. This is not that story. This is the story of a real Disney divorce, the collaborative divorce of Roy Disney and his wife Patty.
Last year, the Disneys filed papers with the Los Angeles County Superior Court [...]

Trading Spaces

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0100

Governor Gibbons evidently made a mistake common among those who have finally decided to seek a divorce: he moved first and asked questions later. Many family law specialists warn against that.

While we’re on the subject of governors(see “Being Ugly in Public, posted on July 27, 2009), another who is in the midst of a difficult divorce is Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons, who filed for divorce in late April after abruptly moving out of the governor’s mansion in [...]

Being Ugly in Public

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0100

That’s the thing about a contested divorce: it’s often ugly and it’s public. There’s no better example than the drama being played out between former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey and his estranged wife Dina Matos McGreevey.

An old friend who thought he was quite the wit (and sometimes was) used to say, “She can’t help being ugly, but she doesn’t have to go out in public.” That’s the th [...]

A Better Way

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0100

In the second chapter, the judge recommends alternatives to conventional divorce, specifically mediation and collaborative divorce. He advises couples that by using an alternative like collaborative divorce they will save time and money and be happier with their settlement. “Alternatives to going to court take place in a private setting in which the goal is to find an agreement acceptable to both of you,” he points out, while “a judge’s decree often produces u [...]

Wrong Decisions

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0100

Even in the best of circumstances, says the judge, “There is the possibility that even a well-meaning, experienced family law judge will rule for the wrong side.” He lists a number of factors that make it hard for judges to be sure they are making the right decision, including not having enough information or correct information. In addition, he says, “Very few lawyers who specialize in divorce end up as judges.”

Long Delays

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0100

When one or both spouses are determined to drag out a divorce case, the process can be interminable. Judge Duncan was involved with a case that dragged on for twelve years. In this chapter, he cites several reasons that contested divorces take a long time even when both parties want to get it over with: from courtroom under staffing to overloaded calendars to the fact that criminal courts have a higher priority for funding.

Harm to Children

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0100

The judge devotes two entire chapters to legal issues regarding the children of divorce. But in the first chapter of the book he focuses on the emotional damage children can suffer when their parents engage in a vicious divorce struggle. “A contested divorce trial ultimately ends up causing terrible damage to any children caught in the crossfire,” he observes.

Antagonism and Angst

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0100

The legal system by its very nature pits one spouse against the other, increasing tension and negativity. According to Judge Duncan, “Many more people than you would guess maintain at least some sort of friendly relationship with a former spouse after a divorce. But that is highly unlikely if the two of you go through a contested trial.”

High Costs

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0100

The judge says that more than 90% of divorce cases settle before going all the way to trial. But attorneys must prepare as though there is going to be a trial, just in case. That can mean hiring expensive expert witnesses and child custody evaluators. Says the judge, “Any contested divorce is expensive and can be as costly as one spouse wants to make it.”

Listen to the Judge

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0100

“Whatever you do, try to keep your divorce out of divorce court,” says Judge Roderic Duncan. That seems like strange advice from a man who’s ruled on 25,000 divorce cases.

When a judge who’s spent years hearing divorce cases offers you advice about divorce, you should listen. That’s just what Judge Roderic Duncan does in his book A Judge’s Guide to Divorce: Uncommon Advice from the Bench. And what is the judge’s advice?& [...]

The Dinner Club

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 23:00:00 +0100

A couple’s decision to divorce creates a ripple effect among nearly everyone they know. But there is no process for deciding who gets custody of their friends. The more contentious the divorce, the more awkward many friendships may become.

Alice and Paul, a young professional couple, enjoyed cooking. Together with two other couples they knew through Paul’s work, they formed a “dinner club.” The couple [...]

Decisions, Decisions

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 23:00:00 +0100

When you think of a labor dispute, what comes to mind? The two sides can’t agree, things are at a stalemate. Maybe one side has walked out, or maybe the other side locked them out. Harsh words are spoken. Finally an arbitrator is brought in. Each side makes demands. The arbitrator considers the case and decides who gets what. Neither side walks away happy.

Striking Out

Doesn’t that sound a lot like a contested divorce?&n [...]

Oprah Magazine's Suze Orman Recommends Collaborative Divorce

medavis@hoflaw.com — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 23:00:00 +0100

Suze Orman's October advice column in Oprah magazine touches on the costs of divorce for couples. Orman recommended collaboration (or collaborative divorce) as a way for couples to "divorce with dignity." Collaborative divorce allows for parties to create their own solutions regarding spousal support, division of property, child custody and other issues facing couples as they separate. The parties explore what each person envisions as his or her post-divorce [...]

Why this season's most fashionable accessory is a divorce lawyer

julia@archerwebsolutions.com — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 19:00:00 +0100

According To Vogue magazine, divorce lawyers have become the 13th most useful fashionable accessory to the fashionable elite. Recognizing the complexity of current divorces due to the credit crunch , the best and brightest women are making sure they are arm in arm with their divorce settlement negotiator.
As in Yorkshire England, I am finding there is a September uptick of affluent women meeting with me to determine what protections the [...]

How Can Divorce Be "Collaborative"

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 23:00:00 +0100

What exactly is a “collaborative divorce?” We all know what divorce is and what it means to collaborate, but how can the two go together considering that the decision to divorce usually is the culmination of conflict and frustration? With the help of specially trained professionals, couples can approach divorce in a cooperative spirit that helps them complete their separation respectfully and move forward with their lives without excessive emotional turmoil, even though they ar [...]

Love Never Loses Its Way Home

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 23:00:00 +0100

Matt Maupin was a 20 year old Army reservist captured by insurgents in Iraq when his fuel convoy was ambushed four years ago. A video released by his captors showed him surrounded by masked men with automatic rifles. Subsequently, another video emerged showing what the captors claimed was Maupin’s execution by gunfire. The Pentagon, however, ruled that the poor quality video was inconclusive. Matt’s parents were steadfast that it did not depict their son [...]

Welcome to the Collaborative Divorce Blog

rsadler@hoflaw.com — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 23:00:00 +0100

Welcome to our Collaborative Divorce blog! Collaborative divorce is a relatively new way to handle the divorce process -- a way that offers more emotional support and less conflict -- a way that gives you more personal control and eliminates arbitrary decisions -- and especially, a way that places the focus on the future well-being of everyone concerned, including children.
The purpose of this blog is to help you understand how collaborative divorce works and how it might apply [...]