The term “Disney Divorce” is often used to describe a post-divorce family situation in which one parent, usually Dad, isn’t involved in day-to-day parenting but shows up on infrequent occasion to do something spectacular with the kids, like visit Disneyland.  This is not that story.  This is the story of a real Disney divorce, the collaborative divorce of Roy Disney and his wife Patty.
Last year, the Disneys filed papers with the Los Angeles County Superior Court in which they agreed to “to devote their efforts to attempt to reach a negotiated settlement in an efficient, cooperative manner.”  Each was represented by a collaborative attorney and pledged to comply with the principles of collaborative law.  The case proves a number of important points about collaborative divorce:

•    Collaborative divorce is not just for couples without a lot of money.   Roy Disney is director emeritus of the Disney Company and holds 16 million shares.  Forbes has estimated his fortune at $1.2 billion.

•    Collaborative divorce is not just for couples with minor children.  The Disneys have four children, all adults.

•    Collaborative divorce is not just for young couples who have had short marriages.  The Disneys were married for 52 years.  Roy is 77, Patty is 72.  They were married shortly after the opening of Disneyland in Anaheim, California.

The Disney Company has many devoted followers who were surprised by the news.  According to Clifford A. Miller, managing director of the Disney family investment company, "This has been in the works for a long time. They've just decided to move forward with their lives."  Notably, they decided to do so in a way that respects their many years together, preserves their family relationships, and protects their privacy.  

The judge devotes two entire chapters to legal issues regarding the children of divorce.  But in the first chapter of the book he focuses on the emotional damage children can suffer when their parents engage in a vicious divorce struggle.  “A contested divorce trial ultimately ends up causing terrible damage to any children caught in the crossfire,” he observes.

Matt Maupin was a 20 year old Army reservist captured by insurgents in Iraq when his fuel convoy was ambushed four years ago.   A video released by his captors showed him surrounded by masked men with automatic rifles.  Subsequently, another video emerged showing what the captors claimed was Maupin’s execution by gunfire.  The Pentagon, however, ruled that the poor quality video was inconclusive.  Matt’s parents were steadfast that it did not depict their son.  And so they began their four-year wait for news of Matt, four years during which this divorced couple put together an incredible network of support not just for him but for all Americans serving  overseas.  
Cincinnati Enquirer reporter Howard Wilkinson says of Keith and Carolyn Maupin that they “divorced years ago, but they have been inseparable partners and each other’s best friend over the past four tough years.”  Together, they met with Pentagon officials, Congressmen and President Bush.  They helped start the Yellow Ribbon Support Center (www.yellowribbonsupportcenter.com), which ships care packages to troops.  They organized a campaign to create the Matt Maupin Computer Lab at Camp Anaconda in Iraq, which provides computer access for soldiers to keep in contact with their families.  They created a college scholarship program in Matt’s name and the names of other soldiers from the Cincinnati region who died in Iraq.   Each year on the anniversary of Matt’s capture, they host a dinner dance to raise scholarship funds; it attracts over 1,000 people.  
The Maupins adopted the phrase, “Love never loses its way home,” and printed it on thousands of buttons, posters and cards with Matt’s picture.  Each care package included the picture and a note urging the recipients to keep looking for him.  In late March 2008, the Maupins received the word they dreaded: Matt’s remains had been found and positively identified.   They pledge to continue their work in support of U.S. troops abroad.  “It’s never been just about Matt,” says his father.  “It’s about all of them over there, 140,000 of them.  We’ll work just as hard for them.”
No parent wants to contemplate suffering through an ordeal such as the Maupins have endured.  And many divorced or divorcing couples can’t contemplate ever having the kind of interaction with one another that Keith and Carolyn Maupin do.  But while marriages end, parenting partnerships go on, including after the children are grown.  Even absent a family crisis, there will be birthdays, holidays, graduations, weddings and perhaps eventually grandchildren.  The time to lay the groundwork for a cooperative parenting relationship is during the divorce process.  Through collaborative divorce, couples can not only reach agreement on immediate parenting issues but can develop mutual problem-solving skills that enable them to work together for the benefit of their children through the years.